If you’ve been watching this season’s “The Biggest Loser” then you know for the past several weeks there have been two new trainers (in addition to Bob and Jillian) but we’ve yet to see them or get their names.

Tonight, they’re finally going to introduce them. I mean why tonight? Why not wait until the end of the season to reveal this pointless secret? What made the show heads think this would be suspenseful? Unless the trainers are Jane Fonda and Tony Little, I hardly think there’s any use making us wait for a big reveal. Why do we care? None of us know who they are. It’s so silly.

Anyway, be sure to tune in tonight to meet the new trainers. Or whatever. Here’s a preview:

Food Network’s “Worst Cooks in America” premiered Sunday night and there’s a new batch of really bad (and dumb) contestants. I’m not being mean either. They said it themselves. At least half of them last night admitted to having small brains or not possessing the power to think thoughts. Seriously.

Chef Anne Burrell, or as I like to call her “Guy Fieri’s sister,” and her shiny red crocks are back. But what happened to Chef Beau MacMillan? I thought maybe they ditched him because he has no stage presence but neither does his replacement Robert Irvine. Who knows. The premise didn’t change, at least. Anne and Robert picked 16 terrible “cooks,” divided them into two teams and will put them through a cooking boot camp to turn two of them into good enough cooks to compete in a finale showdown.

The problem with this show is it’s only good until the terrible cooks learn to cook. The best part is when they suck really badly. And make dishes like this:

That’s contestant Kelly’s “boeuf.” It’s beef cooked in A LOT of red wine. I’d say it looks like jerky but I don’t want to offend jerky. Then she serves it with some vegetable concoction. And shredded cheese. What are you supposed to do with the cheese?

Then there’s this:

That’s Kat’s omelet or quiche or something. It started with raw eggs, raw chicken and WHOLE peppercorns. Nasty.

And when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, there’s this:

That’s Erika’s bologna and Easy Cheese quesadilla. No joke. And Erika is an adult, too. She’s not 7.

At first, I thought “this people have to be faking this. No one is dumb enough to cook this badly. But after Anne and Robert taught their teams to make chicken dishes I believed every bit of it. They almost burned down the kitchen. It’s real. So I think we have at least four or five fun episodes left before the cooks improve and the show gets worse.

This week’s “Top Chef All-Stars” had less drama than last week’s but continued the trend of shocking eliminations. It was double-elimination week and while it was no surprise to see Stephen go, it was a little shocking for Dale L. to go. He’s the first former Top Chef runner-up to go. And it’s only week three.

Earlier, the Quickfire Challenge had the contestants in teams of four competing against the clock in a timed mise-en-place challenge. The winning team, as usual, was the one containing Richard. The rest of the team included Stephen, Spike and Tre.

For the elimination challenge, the cheftestants had to dine in the same groups of four and some of New York’s finest restaurants then create a dish inspired by some of the dishes they had. And they’re competing against the other people on their teams.

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Wow. I loved seeing Jen Carroll talking back to the “Top Chef” judges in Wednesday’s episodes. So often the judges blur the line between constructive criticism and insult and Jen decided she wasn’t going to take it any longer.

“You guys are smart enough. You’re the judges. Why didn’t you say ‘hey can I get a different plate for this,'” Jen said in response to Head Judge Tom Clolicchio asking why they put all their food on one plate.

And that was just a sampling of the things she said. It was awesome. Unfortunately, we won’t be hearing her talk back any longer. The judges sent her home. And they say it’s not because of her attitude but because her dish was crap.

Backing up, the episode opens with Padma and Joe Jonas revealing the chefestants’ quickfire challenge. They have to make a late night snack for a group of kids sleeping over in a museum. Joe judges. He hates Stephen’s, Tiffany D’s and Mike’s. He liked Spike’s and Tiffani F’s. So it’s a tie. So, to decide who wins, they’re going to go to the museum and let the kids choose. So the those two have to make a lot of their treats so they divide into two teams to help them pull that off.

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I can’t even express how much I enjoyed the season premiere of “Top Chef All-Stars.” It was seriously everything I had imagined and more.

I could’ve done without the first elimination winner winning, but the first elimination was like the best reality TV moment in history (for me anyway). I’ll get to that later, however.

At the start, we get to meet all of our favorites, and not-so-favorites all over again. I was most excited to see Carla Hall (Season 5), Marcel Vigneron (Season 2) and Tiffany Derry (Season 7). I was (way) less excited about seeing Elia Abomrad (Season 2), Angleo Sosa (Season 7) and Mike Isabella (Season 6).

And before I get to the challenges, I have to ask a question. When did Jamie Lauren (Season 5) decide she was so amazing? She came in like 7th place her season. Which I think might be the second-lowest ranked returning chef next to Tre Wilcox (Season 3). I don’t know. She just came across as cocky and unlikable in the season premiere.

For the quickfire, the chefs are paired with their fellow season members and are asked to create dishes (or components of one) that represents the city their show was filmed in. Surprisingly, on the bottom were Marcel and Elia (Season 2); Tiffani Faison and Steven Asprinio (Season 1); Jamie, Carla and Fabio Viviani (Season 5); and Angelo and Tiffany (Season 7).

The favorite dishes were Richard Blais, Spike Mendelsohn, Dale Talde and Antonia Lofaso (Season 4); Tre, Casey Thompson, and Dale Levitski (Season 3); and Mike and Jennifer Carroll (Season 6). The season 4 group wins for making a hot dog covered in some weird mustard foam or ice cream or something Richard Blais-ish.

Padma then reveals the first elimination challenge and it’s completely brilliant. Each contest must improve upon the dish they were eliminated for. Brilliant, I told you. So we get to see a lot of familiar dishes while the chefs get to redeem themselves.

There’s not a lot of drama in the kitchen just yet. So far, it’s mostly trash talking behind backs. And it looks like Marcel is probably going to be misunderstood yet again. I like Marcel. I always have. And I’ve always thought he is misunderstood. It’s sad that everyone is going into this game thinking that. And we’ve got Elia and Ilan (Season 2 winner) to thank for that.

It seems most of the dishes have been improved upon. Richard, as always, is the front runner, but since he blew past the timer and kept plating when he shouldn’t he is disqualified (haha!). Joining him in the top were Jamie, Spike and Angelo. Angelo wins.

The bottom chefs are Richard, Fabio and Elia. Elia is sent packing. And I couldn’t be more pleased. I needed that redemption from Season 2. She and Ilan from that season are two of my least favorite reality show contestants in history. They treated Marcel terribly. They made Top Chef feel like high school bully training. And she was the worst because she turned on Marcel. He thought she was the only one on his side, but toward the end, she proved him wrong. So I was happy. Very happy. See ya Elia. Now if we could just figure out a way to get back at Ilan.

So what did you think? What kind of predictions do you have for this season? Even though it sounds terribly predictable, I could really see a Richard-Marcel-Antonio Top 3. But that’s just too obvious. Richard will be there for sure…