There’s only one word for Wednesday’s “Top Chef Just Desserts”:

Wow.

Even before the quickfire begins, Seth flips out over some paper cups, has an anxiety attack and is kicked off the show. I’m actually going to miss his antics. I was also looking forward to seeing if that growth on his neck eventually went away.

Oh well, Seth might be gone but there’s still PLENTY of drama. This has to be the most vicious, bitter, bitchy, whiny reality cast ever. You’ll see more on that throughout the recap.

So, the quick fire. Gail Simmons (also known as the best reality show host ever) introduces some other woman named Gale and they tell the contestants their challenge is to make the ultimate ice cream sundae. Morgan wins for making something that wasn’t a sundae at all. He gets immunity.

Morgan and the other two quick fire top 3, Yigit and Zac, are named team captains for the elimination challenge. Gail tells them they’ll be working in teams of three and they’re a person short because of Seth’s roid rage anxiety attack. So in walks Heather C, the contestant eliminated last week. Yay! Not only can she fill the emotional breakdown void Seth left, her strange forehead injury can replace Seth’s neck growth.

The elimination challenge is to create desserts based on the wacky, sexual antics of some performance troupe that reminds me of Cirque Du Soleil, only with more STDs. They all have to make a dessert inspired by the troupe along with a table showpiece and a separate flaming dessert.

Yigit’s team fails to make the flaming dessert flame for the judges. This upsets head judge Johnny Iuzzini, who’ll I’ll call “1957.” So 1957 shows his disappointment. So it’s almost certain someone from Yigit’s team will go home. Probably Yigit since he’s the team captain.

Morgan’s team wins. He is named the winner, which really upsets Heather H. She feels that she did more work and should have won. She says a lot of things that a really nasty baby might say and shows that she’s kind of crazy like everyone else on this show.

So then they talk to Zac’s team. And in the middle of praise from the other Gale, Malika breaks in and asks to go home. What? Why? You weren’t going to go home. You actually made the best thing you’ve ever made. And now you’re asking to go home? Lame. So she’s dismissed and Gail doesn’t get to say “pack your tools and go.”

What is wrong with these people? Are pastry chefs notoriously emotional and crazy? On the original “Top Chef” there are usually only one or two people a season who are bats**t crazy.

This entire cast is out of control. Yelling, crying, bitterness. I’m nearly shaking by the end of each episode. And all I can say is it’s delicious. Who knew this little “Top Chef” spin-off would be so awesome.

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