Last night’s “Hoarders” was pretty standard. There was a lot of clutter and even more family resentment. However, instead of dead cats we have black mold. There were a couple close ups of animal droppings though. A&E couldn’t let us go without a little animal filth.

Kathleen is widowed and has two children. She’s also a teacher. So much of her hoard is composed of school supplies and gifts from students. A teacher as a hoarder makes perfect sense to me now. Think of all those crappy gifts we used to give our teachers. That’s 30 students a year, with at least one holiday gift a year, for, say, 20 years. That’s a lot of crappy painted apples and World’s Best Teacher trophies (or in my case, crappy wooden earrings from my mom’s yard sale junk).

That one guy doctor shows up. You know, the boring one. He isn’t very good. So I block him out. Really,  I just prefer Dr. Robin Zasio. Where’s Robin? I want Robin and her condescending soft voice. Geralin Thomas, the organizer shows up too. OK, I feel better now that she’s here. There’s something comforting about Geralin. She’s looks like a politician’s wife. Or a home ec teacher. I’m longing for the day when Dr. Robin and Geralin are on the same segment. Not much goes on with the professionals. It’s Kathleen’s sister who really brings the drama this week. See, she’s a lawyer. So she knows a lot about hoarding. Or at least I think so from the things she said and all the yelling she did.

Actually, it just boils down to family resentment. That and hoarding go hand in hand. But Kathleen is ready to break the chain. She doesn’t want her son and daughter to resent her and her black mold. So she’s making a change.

The second segment focuses on Margree. She’s the wife of a reverend and he’s left home because of her massive hoard of wigs and Styrofoam heads. Margree’s biggest problem seems to be shopping. She likes to order from the home-shopping network. And she even has her remote control attached to her wrist so she doesn’t lose it. I really hope she has that invention trademarked. Margree’s house isn’t one of those with live raccoons under the bed. But she still has a lot of stuff.

So guess who shows up? Dr. Robin Zasio! Yay! Let the fun begin. Robin takes the tour. She flips her two-toned hair around a bit, makes her judgments and begins her therapy. Dorothy Breininger, the organizer pops in. I kind of like Dorothy (but she’s no Standolyn Robertson). They don’t get a lot done in this house because Margree’s husband shows up and he’s a big jerk. I thought a man of God would be a little nicer than he was. He was very standoffish and acted like a big bully. The fun part, though, was we actually got to see their marriage end right there on camera. And the even more fun part was watching Margree, her daughter, Dr. Robin and Dorothy form this girl power hug. I thought a freeze-frame then credit roll would’ve been appropriate right there but of course they had to ruin it with updates on the two hoarders.

The updates tell us that Kathleen is doing well. Her son has moved back home and they’re actually able to cook in their kitchen and have family meals. She’s seeking counseling. As for Margree, she definitely ended her marriage (which seemed to be a big part of her problem) and is still working with therapists and organizers.

“Hoarders” thought of the week:

Did you ever wonder why hoarders don’t have running water or a functioning refrigerator? What is it about clutter and junk that makes those things stop working? And where do those people go to the bathroom? Or shower? Or eat? Or store their Chinese food leftovers? Those are some of the saddest questions.

Delete scenes from last night:

Margree

Kathleen

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